


The Real Joker Is In Town

by Minty_Moon



Category: Joker (2019), Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Batman tries his best, Drug Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, I'm ignoring the massive age gap between Joker, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Stockholm Syndrome, and Bruce Wayne in Joker, it doesn't make sense therefore it doesn't exist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-25 13:54:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22497184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minty_Moon/pseuds/Minty_Moon
Summary: Harley and Mr. J have been together for years, reigning the crime world after the Joker's death. Suddenly news of the Joker possibly being still alive arise. Mr. J is on edge and attempting to keep Gotham under his control and Harley has made a new friend she feels she's met before but just can't figure it out. Batman has been riding Mr. J's tail for awhile now and has finally gotten his hands on Harley and now while Harley has to figure out how to escape the clutches of the man in a bat suit she finds out some things about her friends, Mr. J, and herself.
Relationships: Harley Quinn/Poison Ivy, Joker (DCU)/Harleen Quinzel, Joker/Batman, Jonny Frost/Joker (DCU)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	1. If You're Seeking Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> So a little bit of info before you read Mr. J is Suicide Squad's Joker and Arthur Fleck is the Joker from the movie Joker. By giving them different names it helps avoid confusion. Hope you enjoy!

Harley loved Mr. J don’t get her wrong, she didn’t know what she would do without him for he completed her and she completed him, but sometimes she wished he’d be a bit nicer to her and her hyenas, they were her babies after all. Mr. J had been annoyed at something all day, she imagined it was that bat fellow, and it left him snappy at her. When he was mad and didn’t feel like going out to kill something he would sit in his circle of weapons planning his next move or go to his bar. Tonight he decided he wanted to go to his bar. 

Harley couldn’t help the smile that crept up her face and she sat down comfortably in the dark purple Vaydo Mr. J had named “The Joke Mobile” to mock the Bat’s car. She loved the bar. _Well I guess it’s more of a strip club._ She ignored the thought. Harley loved that bar/strip club _a lot_ , she’d help make the floor plans and she got to dance. She also never had to worry about creepy dudes trying to get all up on her because first of all she could kill them if she wanted and no way in hell her puddin’ would let that happen. So Harley got to dance all she wanted and make a pretty good buck off of it too. 

Harley straightened the new red sequined dress Mr. J had gotten her and admired the way the street lights bounced off the red sequins. The dress was similar to her gold and black striped dress she’d worn the day the bat ruined date night and got her trapped in Arkham for two months, she still hated the bat for that, but despite the similarities she still loved it. 

Mr. J caught her eye as she looked up from the sparkling beads. “Pretty ain’t it?” 

Harley nodded vigorously and pulled out her tube of dark red lipstick to freshen it up. She reached for his hand and kissed the excess lipstick onto the back of his hand. They both laughed. 

The club shone in bright neon purple lights as they stepped out of the car and entered through the back. Harley practically raced to the glass box where she usually danced. She was the only one in the cage which left all the attention on her and if anyone knows her they’d know that’s what she always wanted: all the attention. The music was loud, almost deafening but it left her brain empty as her body instinctively moved, but still aware of the little noises she’d trained herself to hear because of that _annoying little shit_ they called Batman. Harley found herself staring at Mr. J who sat at the bar, holding a drink of something and his gold cane. His gaze pierced hers and she could practically feel the anger rolling off him in waves. Harley knew that this little trip wasn’t going to be enough for him. 

His gaze traveled over the crowd of people drinking and dancing to the loud music. His eyes finally settled on a young man with two other boys and two girls. The young man was attempting to sweet talk the bartender, she could tell by his posture and drifting eyes. Mr. J wasn’t really the protecting type (of people other than her) and she knew that if he wasn’t angry he wouldn’t even bat an eye at the young man who was drunk and starting to lean just a little too far over the bar. But since he was and his hand appeared to be drifting down to the knife he kept on his ankle Harley slammed her body against the glass. The noise was loud and brought his attention back to her. She kept his gaze and smirked. 

She danced harder and more seductive than before, trying to keep his attention on her. She really didn’t feel like hiding a body tonight. Now that his attention was on hers again she didn’t lose it. She licked the glass and laughed loudly, tossing her head back with the force of the laugh. 

The sound of glass shattering made her snap her gaze from Mr. J over to the bar where the man had shattered a bottle while climbing over the bar and had the bartender by the throat against the wall. Harley ran from the cage over to the bar. “Out of the way!” She roared. 

Harley leaped over the bar and punched the man in the head. The unexpected hit surprised him and he let go of the bartender who ran away. “What the hell?” He growled at her. 

A woman behind her yelled something along the lines of “stop it Jack!” and she frowned deeper. “Hell do you think you’re doing? Besides being a dick.” 

“Mind your business, hooker.” 

Jesus, can a girl get a break? Harley clocked him in the nose. It was satisfying to feel the bone crack. The man yelled in anger and reached for her arm before she took a heeled foot to his crotch. “Get the hell out!” She screamed. 

Harley jumped at the feeling of Mr. J’s hands on her shoulders but leaned into the coolness of his hands. “You messin’ with my lady, buddy?” 

The man groaned and looked up from where he had stumbled and fallen to the floor. “What should we do, darling?”

Harley frowned. “I’d say we shoot him but that seems a tiny bit too nice. How ‘bout we give him a little somethin’ for him to _remember_ us by?” 

Mr. J smiled and took out his knife. The man immediately jumped to his feet. “Hey hey man I’m not looking for trouble.” He spoke nervously. 

“Yeah yeah save your bullshit for the knife.” She scoffed. 

Her puddin’s grip on the man’s arm was so tight you could see his short nails digging to the man’s skin as he carved a J into his arm. The man’s screams were nice, he deserved to be carved after pulling that. If there was one thing she stood for it was stopping the mistreatment of women, especially the girls she knew. 

The woman who had asked the man to stop was screaming too. Harley turned, “Yeesh keep it down would ya? He’s getting what he deserves.” 

The woman stopped but stared at her wide eyed. She rolled her eyes and grabbed the 100 dollar bill she had stashed in her dress when she ran out of the cage and handed it to the woman. “Go get yourself some drinks,” She then pointed to a young man speaking to the other bartender across the bar nicely “and maybe a new man.” Harley patted the woman’s shoulder and smiled. The woman hovered there for a second then the man screamed especially loud and she ran across the bar. God, Harley was a pretty helpful person. 

“All,” Mr. J cut one last groove into the cut and patted it. “Done.” 

The man waited not one more second before running out of the bar. Mr. J turned to her with a smile. “They never say thank you!” He shouted with laugh. 

Harley stifled giggles as she reached up to kiss him. “Come on Harley-girl, I’ll meet you in the car.” 

…

Harley sighed sleepily as she looked out the sunroof of the car watching the stars and lampposts. She still lay practically naked despite the underwear she’d put back on and had the plush blanket they kept in the car for cold days in Gotham draped over her lap. 

Harley shifted her gaze to Mr. J who was humming some indecipherable tune. He still looked stressed so she asked. “What is bothering you so much?” 

He caught her eye for a moment before turning back to the road and speeding up. “Seriously!” Harley put her seat back up. “You know I don’t like it when you keep things from me.” 

“Check the news, baby.” 

Harley opened her phone and flipped through news articles looking for one that would make him angry. She stopped at one of them. “The Joker returns: Has Gotham’s threat lived?” She read aloud. 

“Yep.” Mr. J say tautly, smacking his lips on the p. 

Harley rolled her eyes. “We _allll_ know the Joker’s dead besides,” She placed her hand on his that sat lazily on his knee. “You’re the new king of Gotham.” 

He moved her hand away from his. “You don’t get it Harley! I run these streets and I can’t have this fucking clown trying to take it back!” 

“What? You scared of a little clown?” 

Harley jerked forward and hit the dashboard as the car stopped suddenly. “Get out.” 

She stared at Mr. J. “What?” 

“Get out of my damn car! You need to learn some fucking respect.” 

Harley scrambled to grab her dress, shoes, and purse and had hardly stepped out of the car before he sped off. “Fuck you!” She screamed after him. Feeling cold in Gotham’s cold fall nights she slipped the dress back on but it didn’t do much since it hardly covered. Mr. J had left her on the corner of a 7-11, downtown, in fall, in a fucking stripping dress. 

She screamed and kicked the trash can that stood behind the build she was left at. Harley rounded the corner and entered the 7-11, at least she could eat. 

Harley grabbed a bag of chips, a chocolate bar, and a slushie. She ended up getting a discount when she “accidentally” dropped the bag of chips and leaned over in front of the store clerk. Another benefit of being a hoe: cheating out of $7 and only paying $4. 

She ate quickly and rounded the back again to throw away the empty wrappers and cup when she heard a noise. “Who’s there?” She glanced around in the dark.

A tall slim man slid out from the shadows. Harley kept her hand to where her gun sat in her purse. He took one last drag of his cigarette and spoke “It’s alright, I’m not going to hurt you.” 

He pulled out an umbrella and Harley hadn’t even realized it had started raining. “Looks like you aren’t supposed to be out here. Here I’ll walk you home.” 

Harley hesitated then skipped over to his side. She took his arm and settled under the umbrella. “What’s your name?” She asked.

“Arthur.” 

“Harley.” She said with a smile. 

“I’m sure you’re wondering what I’m doing out here,” She began, “Well I was with my puddin’ at his club but we left and were heading home and he kicked me out of the car. Somethin’ about,” Harley mimicked Mr. J, “‘You need to learn some fucking respect’ which was uncalled for but whatevera.” 

Arthur turned to look at her. “You know you shouldn't let him talk to you like that. The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules.” 

Harley was a bit offended but a part of her wanted to listen. Suddenly Arthur stopped and started choking before a loud laugh burst from him. She stared in shock and his hand dove into his pocket and drew out a card that read “Forgive my laughter, I have a condition.” Harley smiled at him. “Oh me too!” 

Arthur’s laughter stopped and he asked “You do?” 

Harley nodded, “Yep! Mentally unstable, although I think I make a lot more sense then that bat guy.” 

Arthur grinned at her. “I agree about Batman. He’s just a rich kid who thinks he knows how the world works.” 

“Oh I’m afraid I don’t know where we’re going.” 

Harley smacked her forehead. Why hadn’t she thought to tell him? “Umm well I think I’ll have to catch a cab there since it isn’t downtown but,” She jumped forward to give Arthur a hug “Thank you!” 

Before walking off she asked him another question, “Why are you out so late too?” 

“Clearing my mind. Feels good to be back in Gotham.” 

The laughter sounded from him again and he apologized between laughs. There was something about him and his laughter she couldn’t put her finger on. “Have we met before? There’s something familiar about you and I never forget a face.” 

Arthur was silent and stared at her as if he was also trying to remember. Harley grabbed a pen and a 1 dollar bill from her purse and hastily wrote her number down on it. “Call you if need anything, my boyfriend happens to be the king of Gotham and we’re friends now so we can help if you need it!” 

She handed him the bill and skipped down the sidewalk with her thumb out for a cab. She was wracking her brain to remember where she’d seen Arthur before but she couldn’t think of anything. 

….

Harley was completely soaked by the time she found a cab. The driver looked at her strangely as she sat in the back seat. “What? You never seen a drenched woman before?” 

The driver rolled his eyes “Alright princess.” 

Harley broke the dividing window from the back and grabbed his shirt. The man was slightly overweight and smelled like the car: sweat and booze. “Shut your mouth before I tell your boss you’re drunk.” 

He bit his lip and went back to driving. It took far _far_ too long to get home because the driver drove like a snail. When she got out of the car she threw the money at his face and yelled “Your car smells like shit!” as she ran up the front stairs to the blue lighted mansion. 

Harley sighed as she closed the door, relishing in the comfort of the warm building and nice air. “Harley-darling, there you are.” 

Mr. J walked down the stairs. He was still dressed in the purple leather coat and the green pants he had worn to the club. He clicked his tongue, “Why look at you! You’d think you’d swam here!” 

“You know I was beginning to worry about you.” He opened his hands to reveal car keys. “I was just coming to look for you.” 

Harley bit her lip wanting to say “Why’d you leave me in the first place?” but she was tired and wanted to sleep comfortably next to him.

“Let’s get you a shower, huh?” 

… 

Harley snuggled into her puddin’s sleeping form. The shower had been nice and the hot clean water had been a much better alternative to the muddy rain water that she had been drenched in. Afterwards she’d dressed in her warm pj's and climbed into bed with Mr. J. 

She leaned her head against his soft robe and leaned into his half asleep hug. It was hard to imagine Mr. J as “King of Gotham” when he slept. He was so peaceful when he was asleep. Harley tried to blink the sleep from her eyes as she tried to remember where she’d seen Arthur before. Just when she thought he got it, she fell asleep and the thought was lost to a dream.


	2. A Kiss With A Fist Is Better Than None

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for an update and it's so short! I'd originally begun writing this with little to no knowledge of Batman and his villains but now, I've become more well versed. I'll try to get another chapter out soon but until then enjoy! 
> 
> .  
> .  
> .
> 
> Chapter title from Kiss With A Fist by Florence and the Machine.

Harley groaned as she tried to stand. She pushed up with her arms but they gave out and her face was back against the cold pavement. She lazily spit out the blood that had been dripping from her mouth, she didn’t remember exactly when she had started bleeding but she imagined it was from when she bit her tongue from the force of Mr. J’s hit with the butt of his gun. 

Another thing about Mr. J was he didn’t care what was in his way when he was angry. Even if it was Harley or her hyenas. A week had passed since he had left her downtown in the rain. But his anger hadn’t faded. Earlier they had been watching the news and saw that in fact Joker was alive and had written “I’m back Batsy” in blood next to the town square. There had been a body, the secretary at Wayne Enterprises. 

Harley’s brows had furrowed after hearing it. The Joker? Alive? Everyone, including the bat, had thought the Joker had died three years ago. The Joker had gone missing without a trace for a year then the Joker’s coat covered in blood had been sent to the bat himself. He’d told police about it and Joker had been presumed dead. 

But Mr. J didn’t sit and ponder it. He stood and began walking toward the stairs when Bud and Lou had jumped up excitedly. He yelled for them to get away from him but they barked eagerly at him, begging for food. Harley leaped from the couch when she saw him pull out his gun. He fired and there was a sickening yelp before Bud’s body hit the ground. Mr. J didn’t stop, he aimed for the other hyena. Harley jumped in front of him and a loud shot fired. 

Hot pain flooded her side. She stumbled to the side with it and grabbed the railing of the stairs. Lou was whimpering behind her but she thankfully hadn’t been hit. Harley forced her gaze to met Mr. J’s. A slap hit her face. It spiked tears in her eyes. “Get your fucking mutt and get out of my house.” 

Harley opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. He grabbed her arm and shoved her to the door. She fumbled with the handle trying to leave. Lou was attempting to drag Bud’s body after Harley. Mr. J saw this and went to kick the dog when Harley’s words found her and she screamed “No!” 

“Then get out!” The butt of his gun hit her jaw heavily. She finally got the door open and ran. Kept running until she tripped over a curb and the face planted into the cement. All at once the adrenaline faded and she screamed with pain. The pain on her side was unbearable. Lou’s tongue lapped her face nervously as Harley cried. 

Harley let the blood flow from her mouth as she willed herself to get up but the bullet wound hurt like hell and her legs had been slashed by something sharp on the pavement she couldn’t see.   
It was night and it wasn’t likely that, had it been day, anyone would save her, especially in Gotham. It was likely she’d either bleed out or someone would come by and kill her themselves. 

Harley could tell she was losing a lot of blood and she started to become delirious with the pain. But she was also mad. Mad at herself for being stupid and not putting pressure on the wound or at least getting somewhere she could deal with it. 

She forced her head to look up, trying to look at her surroundings. By the look of it she wasn’t _too far_ from the nearest hospital, about maybe 4 blocks. Still too far for her to crawl. But she had to try. She attempted an army crawl despite the pain. Harley, over the years had found that if she focused on other things at some point her body would grow used to the pain. Although, surprisingly this was the first time she’d been shot. 

Harley gave up after she got to the sidewalk on the other side of the road. She stumbled back down to the ground but this time was able to lean against the wall of a building. She’d managed to stand and walk to the next block but that had taken all her energy. She pressed her hand against the wound and stifled a loud groan. 

Suddenly Lou faced the alleyway beside them and growled. _Oh great, now I’m gonna get fucking murdered._ She sighed to herself. She reached out and grabbed Lou’s collar and pulled her close. Harley placed a kiss between Lou’s eyes and wrapped her arms around the hyena. 

A black kevlar boot stood in front of her and she looked up at the figure looking down at her. “I never thought I’d say this, but thank god it’s you!” 

If it was possible, Batman frowned deeper. Harley let go of Lou and reached her arms up like a toddler wanting to be carried. “Come on, help a girl out here Batsy.” 

“How’d this happen?” He growled. 

Harley stumbled over her words before settling on the idea that she didn’t have to tell the bat shit. Instead she just smiled hopefully up at him. 

Batman let out a deep sigh and shook his head. He leaned down and picked her up. 

“Thank you thank you- OW! Watch it there I just got fucking _shot._ ” Harley laced her arms around his neck as he held her bridle style. 

Lou growled up at Batman. “It’s aight Lou, my dark knight!” She chimed before tapping Batman’s shoulder to tell him to start walking. 

Batman started making his way down the dark alleyway and Harley clicked her tongue for Lou to follow. Lou scampered behind them, occasionally letting out little hyena giggles. 

Batman brought her over to The Batmobile and Harley giggled excitedly. “I’ve never gotten to actually ride in the Batmobile before!” 

He grunted and had her lean against the car while he opened the passenger door. Harley smiled at him and got in with a painful grunt. Lou jumped in and settled down at her feet. “Thank you Batsy,” Then looking down a Lou she added “Don’t mess anything up, he’s being nice.” 

Batman shut the door and climbed in the other side. The car started with a quiet rumble and she stared wide-eyed at the different lights and buttons, resisting the urge to touch one when a sharp flash of pain shot through her side. 

“Ah- fuck- you think we’ll get to somewhere we can fix this soon?” 

Batman nodded. Harley nodded back. She began to worry though, when they passed the hospital. “Hey uh Bats, you aren’t taking me to Arkham right?” 

Batman didn’t answer and Harley fidgeted nervously. She needed to get out of the car. She could jump out the door and Harley knew Lou would be safe with Batman, she’d never seen him hurt an animal before. 

As she reached for the door handle the locks clicked and he picked up speed. “Don’t even try and escape.” 

Harley leaned forward and stuck her tongue out but regretted the action immediately as she bit back a grunt of pain. She leaned back and sighed with relief as he sped past Arkham. 

.

Harley must have fallen asleep because when she opened her eyes she lay in a plush bed with soft blankets. “Damn Bat.” She mumbled as she pulled the blanket closer and got comfortable. 

“Harley, we need to talk.” 

Harley’s eyes shot open and she looked at the bat who stood against a metal railing. She sat up cautiously and looked around. She was obviously in a cave ( _Could this be the batcave?_ ) and she could hear the rush of water. Lou was sleeping by her feet on the bed. 

“Sure.” She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and realized she had band-aids wrapped around the parts of her hands where she’d scrapped them on the pavement. 

“I fixed your wounds but tell me, how’d you get shot and hit?” 

Harley laid back down and cuddled back up with the blanket. “Night.” She said matter-of-factly. 

“ _Harley_ ” Batman snapped. 

Harley rolled her eyes and sat back up. “Fineeeeee.” She whined. 

“Mr. J got a little riled, ya know? Got mad at B-Bud,” Harley cursed silently at herself for her voice breaking when she said Bud’s name. “I got in the way.” 

Batman’s stance changed from leaning against the rail with his arms crossed to standing straight. He turned and began to walk away. Harley attempted to rise but hissed in pain and laid back down. Batman looked back at her. “Stay here. I left water and two pain meds on the bedside table.” 

Harley nodded. “Where are you going?” 

“I’ve got the city to protect.” 

Harley snorted at the corny hero response but wished him luck. She downed the pills and the water, wishing there were more of them which there probably were somewhere but right now, all she wanted to do was sleep. So that’s exactly what she did. Harley got herself comfortable in a cocoon of blankets and sunk into the nice bed.


End file.
